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Introduction Having a direction is a vital part of being a conscious adult. Moving from an unconscious existence to conscious life requires - among others - passion, direction, and goals. This ingredient is a major feature in the life of every great leader, man or woman. They have ambitions, goals, passions, and loves. This sounds like something basic, you might think, doesn’t everyone have them? Most people I meet don’t. They have vague dreams – wanting to travel, wanting a big house, wanting to work at something they love, a perfect relationship, a great body, whatever it is. These wishes are universal. But it isn’t a direction if you don’t follow it. Don’t let your fears stop you I cannot overstate how important this is. Too many people bog themselves down with their fears, procrastination, or laziness. They fear losing the security of their current job, even if it makes them miserable. They are afraid of losing the approval and support of their parents, partner, or friends. They are afraid of hard work. Or they’ll “get around to it when the time is right.” This is a common saying, so common that it loses its importance. The time is right – right now. Don’t put it off. There are too many people complaining to me about how miserable their job is. How unhappy their partners make them. How abusive their partners are. How lonely they are. And yet they don’t do anything about it. They spend more time complaining about it then fixing it. They talk about wanting a better job, and then spend their free time watching TV or having coffee with their friends. Taking the first steps Find out what your passion is. Ask yourself; what makes you happy? What makes your heart sing? What makes you laugh? What makes time fly by in the blink of an eye? Write it all down. Make a list of what you would do if there were no constraints. No parents, no partner, unlimited time and resources. Is it starting a band? Learning a new sport? Then follow it. What? You can’t? Why not? Yes, you have bills to pay. Yes, there are other people you have to consider when you make your decisions. But you can start small. You don’t have to change your whole life around immediately; that is uncalled-for and frightening. Instead, spend an hour a day following what you want to do. If it’s a different career, for example, study it part-time; start putting money aside for it. If it’s a better body, work out. If it’s a new skill, get a book or a tutor and practise. Sign up for night classes. Seems like I’m drilling this into you, but the first step is the hardest – and many people don’t want to take it. Follow your bliss, and everything else will fall into place! It’s not hard work if you are doing what you love. Remember: You won’t die if you give up an hour of TV or spend an hour less with your friends. But - you’ll die inside if you don’t follow your passion. Effect on attractiveness and social life This is also known as “having a life.” Having a life is not working, and then spending your free time with your friends or partner. Having a life is working towards your goals, and enjoying yourself every step of the way. From a male perspective and experience, this is one of the factors that contribute to your attractiveness. Almost every woman I’ve met has told me they love a guy with a passion. What it is doesn’t really matter. It’s the passion they love. Being true to yourself Once you have a passion, and it develops into a burning desire that takes over your life, let nothing deter you. Not your partner, not your parents, nothing and no-one. Now you have to use common sense here. If your passion is stealing underwear, then yes, let the police deter you. But if your passion is legal - muscle cars, boxing, philosophy, or your jazz band – follow it. Many people will try to put you down. Out of fear, out of jealousy, out of spite, it doesn’t matter what their motives are. Others, most likely your partner, may want to shift that focus away from your passion on to them. It validates them; affirms their value for them. If you’re a man, and your woman tries to distract you from your goal, what does it mean and why? It affirms their attractiveness and their value. But strangely enough the same women will get dejected if they succeed. Why is this so? In my experience, they might want to test you to see if you are strong enough to follow your goal. If you are not – you lose masculinity and hence value in her eyes. It has happened to me before; I gave up my passion to spend time with my lady, thinking it would make her happy. Instead it made her lose respect for me. Let nothing deter you from your path. Sure, take some time off to smell the roses once in a while. But always remember that to lose your direction is to lose yourself.
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