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You can't impart any wisdom to them. The key is getting their attention, their respect, their curiosity, and getting past their defenses and ego, in a way that catches them off guard, but they still feel safe. Honesty: As much as possible try to speak clearly and very honestly with each of them. If you take your time and choose the right words that they will understand what is being said, and they will be able to process it emotionally with your support and presence. If you don't know something, don't lie. Be straight with them. Don't pretend to be perfect because none of us are. Compassion: Everyone needs compassion and kindness and young children and adolescents are no exception. They need to see examples of compassion and you are the one to give them that new perspective. Be compassionate with them and the people that you encounter, and they will emulate that behavior. Show them what it is to be compassionate and caring, and involve them as often and as much as possible. Affirmations: I teach with and use affirmations a lot. They are wonderful resources for changing thoughts, and behaviors, getting through hard situations, and building coping skills. Affirmations are simple to create, or to build on existing ones by adding a few words or phrases related to you the child or the situation. "I'm going to get through this." "This too shall pass." "One day, I'll be able to make all my own decisions. I'm going to do exactly what I want." "I don't believe my parents negative words or thoughts about me. They are not true. I don't receive them." "I can do this." Self-Discovery: Children need to discover things for themselves. Even if you think that they may get hurt or that something is a little dangerous, you need to allow them to explore on their own. It is possible to talk to little children about something that is dangerous without frightening them with graphic descriptions or yanking them away without an explanation. You can make them understand in ways that are not intimidating to them but that they can still process the information in their way. You can help them be fearless by not becoming overly scared yourself. Of course if they are in immediate danger, pull them from harm, but talk to them about it, so they will understand for the next time. copyright 2006 Yoga Kat
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