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Have you been taking your partner for granted? Do you have good intentions that never materialize? What is the present level of satisfaction between you and your mate? If your answer stirs up feelings of guilt, sadness or frustration, then you need to evaluate your efforts within the marriage. I have heard spouses on numerous occasions complain that their partner has done "too little, too late." If your partner has said this to you then you need to make some major changes fast, because your partner is headed for the door. Many people wait until there is a problem or a conflict, then they attempt to perform a Band-Aid solution. This usually gives good temporary relief and things return to "normal." Unfortunately, it is often only a matter of time before there is a reemergence of the same problem area. Once we see the pattern occurring, then we develop frustration and resentment because we see that things are not changing. You'll only get so many chances with the band aid approach. The dangerous part is when you take your partner's forgiveness as a license to freely mistreat them. Don't let this happen to you! Do something now. I've seen too many people live lives of regret because they lost the best partner they could of ever had. Make your marriage a priority. Let your spouse know how important he or she is to you. Don't wait until that person throws up his hands and is fed up. Sincerely dedicate yourself to being a better partner. A system or formula exists for anything we want to do in life. All we have to do is plug into the system and do what the system says or do something similar. We are fortunate that books are numerous on the subject of marriage enhancement. Church is another good place to learn how to have a fulfilling marriage. People often come to therapy in a state of confusion, stating "We don't know how to do this." You learn about happy marriages through good role models and/or by studying. So if you haven't had the role models to set a positive example for you then you need to seek out the experts. You'll find them in your community, in books, and on the internet. Ask for professional help, seek out input from other married couples, particularly those who have lasted the test of time. Do whatever it takes. Don't wait. Get started to day. You know you don't want to spend the rest of your life without your partner. A little bit of effort goes a long way. Decide to fall in love all over again. You'll be glad you did.
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