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The way to define your personality is to refine your thoughts. When we suffer from low self-esteem other people's critical attitudes make us believe we have a problem. When this illusion is resolved we discover another illusion to shame ourselves. Only after we finally accept ourselves just as we are can we create a happy relationship with ourselves and others. Do you tend to exaggerate your minor flaws? Do you undermine your self-image with these flaws? When these flaws, imperceptible to others, loom large enough in your mind, you will find ways to confuse and sabotage your progress in life. Your self-critical thoughts are toxic. Think of your mind as a garden. Pull out all the weeds. Plant flowers instead. Think well of yourself. Accept your perceived limitations and flaws. Love yourself just as you are. Remove the illusions of inferiority from your own consciousness. You define your personality when you refine your thoughts. When you remove the neurotic theme of your thoughts, then you can improve your personality. Success arises from positive self-esteem. Life provides both positive and negative experiences. If you can appreciate the positive and choose to learn from the negative, then you move your personality towards positive self-esteem. One way to raise your self-esteem is to reverse the thoughts that are oppressing you. For example, if someone criticizes you, think, "They are completely wrong. I am a wonderful person." Similarly, if you're thinking, "I can't do this," change your thoughts to say, "I will learn how to do this and I will enjoy the process." When you raise your self-esteem, your personality improves, as do all aspects of your life.
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