I have a tendency to assume things by physical appearance of a person.

When I see a child, I will assume the child is innocent. Generally, I am correct in my assumption. But there is exception. It is possible that crime syndicate trains and makes use of children to pickpocket. In that sense, a child is not always innocent.

When I see someone with a kind face, I will assume that person is kind. But again it is possible that he is an evil person under the disguised of a kind face.

Even though my meditation teacher has advised that one should learn to see a person as he or she really is and not what he or she appear to be physically. Unfortunately, I did not take heed of his advice and learned the lesson in hard way.

When I first get to know this lady, it was her beauty that attracted me initially. As I get to know her better, her character really turns me off.

So how to see the person in his or her real nature?

Of course I am not able to tell whether a person is good and kind instantly. Here what I will do usually:

Firstly, I will assume the person is good and treat her as a friend. However, I will not trust that person completely.

Secondly, I will observe how she treats her loved ones and friends if possible. For example, how does she treat his parents? How does she treat children? How does she treat her friends? If she treats them well, at least I will know she is good and kind to her loved ones and friends.

Thirdly, I will observe how she treats strangers. If she treats strangers kindly, at least I will know she is good and kind in nature.

Lastly, I will observe how does she treat people while I am not around. Some people simply like to act in front of me. They appear kind and good in front of me. But the moment, I am not around, their real natures are revealed. So it is important to catch your friend by surprise sometime.

Based on the above observations, I will decide whether that person is worthy as a friend that can be trusted. If that person turns out to be unworthy, I will distant myself and keep clear of her.

The idea that I will like to share with you: Do not deceive by his or her good physical appearance. Learn to see the character of a person based on the ways he or she handles other people.

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